Bert's song is from one of Asimov's science articles in Fantasy and Science Fiction, but Asimov attributes it at least partly to Randall Garrett (sp?).

In the style of Walt Kelly, but with no apologies:

Oh give me a pome
About Buffalo or Rome,
With a beer handy and a low play,
Where seldom misheard
Is this courage in word,
And these guys all knock loud the old way.

Pome, pome I'll derange,
Where I'd hear randy Auntie Low play,
And sell them his herd
Of obscure, raging words
And disguise her knot proudly all day.

Copyright by Jerry Friedman, 1985 or '86 or some year like that. Slightly revised just for you.