Have you ever dropped a guitar pick and couldn't find it? Gluon ate it. Gone to the store and knew you bought something but couldn't find it? Gluon is hiding it from you (this can be bad with things like milk, as Gluon has no concept of expiration dates). Ever wondered by you stumbled? You tripped over Gluon. Unexpected blizzard? Gluon is messing with you. Power goes out, but it only seems to be in your neighborhood (neighbourhood, for those Elsewhere)? Gluon eats electrons as a snack. Car didn't start? Ran out of gas? Caught unprepared in a rainstorm? Bob Dylan didn't recognize you? Chongo bit you? Shame McBride came for a loooooooooooong visit? Ran out of toilet paper?

Gluon.

Why? Because Gluon likes Canadians. Gluon thinks Canadians are unAmerican.