Wasn't it Billy Connolly who suggested that the English National Anthem should be the tune for 'The Archers' and the words 'Dum-de dum-de dum-de dum, dum-de dum-de da-da". That way everyone knows the tune and no one can take objection to the sentiments expressed.

Any Scots radio/TV sig tunes you could use this approach with? Dr Finlay's Casebook, Rab C Nesbitt, Taggart?