keberoxu, I do wonder if the word 'failure' should be banned from our vocabulary. It's so judgemental and never takes into consideration the circumstances, the childhood experiences of the person concerned and the pressures on him/her. Also, society seems to demand that an individual conform to its idea of 'normal', a sort of one-size-fits-all, whereas each one of us is different, will react differently and will feel differently in any given situation.

I used to be rather as you describe, beating myself up regularly for perceived 'sins' or 'failures'. I was blaming and judging myself constantly and being very unkind to myself in doing so. Now I'm quite old, this self-torture has stopped and I can see things a bit more wisely.

I have become very suspicious of those two words 'failure' and 'success'. I've become much fonder of that delightful word 'acceptance'! I also love the word 'kindness', to oneself and to others.
I found your post most interesting, and I for one can relate personally to what you are saying.