Well I suppose we should call them incidents.

You must live in one of the Essex outlying villages then, Kevin, as Harlow itself is a somewhat sprawling place, hardly what we Cornish denizens would call a smallish town. I lived in Loughton for eight years and did most of my big shopping in Harlow, remember. Almost landed a job at Stewards but the governors showed bad taste. On the whole, I tend to think that many city-dwellers (including those in smallish towns which have relatively amazing bus and rail links) haven't a bloody CLUE what it's like living out in the sticks (boondocks, yanks?). Nearest railway station to me is an hour's drive. Buses are infrequent and totally inconvenient. We pay a damn sight more for petrol than you townies and our council tax is astronomical compared to yours. Still, at least we can always stare at the sheep and inhale the lovely pong of pigshit.