There is a further sign that my armor and my defenses are becoming more moderate and less protective. Earlier post updates have noted bodily changes during sleep, a shift in sleep positions and how the shift suggests a progress from highly defensive to more relaxed.

Little was noted in past posts about dreams, and for at least one unhappy reason. At my current level of clinical depression, my dream-sleep activity has been seriously interfered with, and the interference has shown up in several specific ways. For a period of months, my nightly dream-sleep was as minimal as could be, suggesting a state of hyper-vigilance. Literally there was precious little dreaming, little time given to dreams, regardless of scheduled bed-time or other sleep hygiene. Then there was a period of months during which the nightly dreaming was barely available for recall; I could sense from my maintained health that I was getting sleep, and having dreams, but every conscious effort to recall my dreams met with heavy resistance. This after having previously kept a dream journal for years, so it isn't as if I've never practiced the discipline of recalling dreams and recording them.

Late this morning -- today my schedule permitted me to sleep in a little -- I woke from dreams, as often happens, and felt like my quantity and quality of dream activity was back to where it used to be when I recorded my dreams in a written journal. My recall isn't as honed as it was back in the day, and it would take time and practice to get the discipline and focus back to that level. But with the restoration of dream activity, and the level of sleep that permits dreaming, I now feel healthier inside than I have done in -- this is sobering to admit -- a few years now.

I am almost superstitious to confide this, lest lightning should strike. But I think my mental health must be more robust than it was at the beginning of this year. Thanks for listening.