Hi, Mom! According to Wikipedia, "Eleven cities conquered by Montezuma in the 15th century paid a yearly tribute of 2000 decorated cotton blankets and 40 bags of cochineal dye each." That's 22,000 blankets a year! What the hell did Montezuma do with all those blankets? Sell them to witless schmoes in the parking lots of defunct filling stations? If so, did he also sell rebel flags, black velvet paintings of Elvis, cheap sunglasses, and boiled peanuts?