And if you need to stall for time, try telling this joke:

Tony Blair is being shown around a hospital.

Towards the end of his visit, he is shown into a ward, containing a number of patients showing no obvious signs of injury. He goes to greet the first patient and the chap replies: "Fair fa' yur honest sonsie face, Great chieftain e' the puddin'.race! Aboon them a' ye tak your place, Painch, tripe, or thairm: Weel are ye wordy o' a grace As lang's my arm."

Tony, being somewhat confused, grins and moves on to the next patient and greets him. His response: "Some hae meat, and canna eat, And some wad eat that want it, But we hae meat and we can eat, And sae the Lord be thankit." The third starts rattling off as follows: "Wee sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie, O, what a panic's in thy breastie! Thou need na start awa sae hasty, Wi bickering brattle! I wad be laith to rin an chase thee, Wi murdering pattle!" Tony can't take much more of this, so he turns to the doctor accompanying him, and asks, "What kind of ward is this? Is it a mental ward?" "No," replies the doctor, "It's the Burns Unit".