Here are the lyrics to The Saga of the Ancient Briton. I have some of his golden oldies on vinyl (oh yes!) which I bought from Mike when he played at my Poly in the early seventies. I can transcribe most of them given the chance. But I'll also have a stab at Sadie Stick (from memory) for those who are interested.

SAGA OF THE ANCIENT BRITON – Mike Absalom

I woke up this evening, I was feeling blue
It wasn't all that surprising, I'm an ancient Briton
Who takes pride in his appearance, I indulge in every nouveau vague.
I don't argue

With the leaders of the Druids, Cos even if they knowed
That I think I have to bear a far too heavy woad
When they send me to battle down by the Roman road.
They don't argue, I don't argue,
You don't argue with druids

I got up and went outside, a stranger was about
It was a Roman in the gloamin' and he gave an awful shout
When I whipped off me fig leaf and I flashed meself about.
He didn't argue

I ain't got a secret weapon. It's there for all to see
And in my turquoise birthday suit I'm blue from head to knee
And when the village maidens see it, they invite me up for tea.
I don't argue

Now Merlin was a plumber, but he had got on quite far
He was an honorary druid appointed by Queen Boudicca
He was devious and shifty, as used khazi dealers are.
One didn't argue with Merlin

When he heard about the Roman he looked shifty and he hissed,
'The time has come to rid our land of the imperialist.'
He jumped about as if possessed; I think that he was pissed.
I didn't argue

He said, 'Now take this liquid, put it in their aqueduct,
It's made from special mushrooms that I meself have plucked.
Aay when the Romans drink it they'll be rightly screwed up.'
I didn't argue. Didn't think much of his poetry though.

Well I was going through the forest when whom should I see there
But a beautiful camp-follower a-camping in the air
And she said hello sailor, would you like to see me bare
I didn't argue. I love animals

Now being on a mission, I should have had more sense,
But the sight of her proportions made me lower my defence,
For I have heard with campers the excitement is in tents.
I didn't argue

As we lay down a voice said, 'what you doing with my wife?'
And I said, 'just the usual,' then a Roman stuck a knife
Halfway up me fundament, I shouted, 'Spare me life,
An' all.'
He didn't argue

He said, 'You're for Londinium, where you will have to face
Trial by a cross section of the Roman populace.
They'll be cross enough to crucify you in the market place.
They don't argue in Londinium

I was a manacled depressive, then I had an idea
I said, 'You must be weary soldier, have some British beer.'
And I pulled out Merlin's bottle. He said, 'You are a dear.'
I didn't argue

So he took off me handcuffs and we sat down on the grasses
And his bird pulled out a corkscrew and three plastic army glasses
And I said, 'cheers! Strange how quickly one's life passes.'
He didn't argue

He said, 'I'll drink to that, cos I wish I was at home.
Or even on the continent, where all roads lead to Rome.
But till you lot join the market, I'm stuck in this battle zone.
I didn't argue

Well we was sitting there and drinking and it wasn't very late,
When suddenly the ground turned pink and began to undulate.
The Roman turned to me and said, 'Was it something that we ate?'
I didn't argue.
I couldn't argue

Suddenly I began to understand the true meaning of life
And the nature of the Universe
At last I .....understood.

Well, we thank you druid Merlin for your mushroom soup with weed in
Cos man, now I know where it's at, I'm through with tears, sweat and bleeding
Me and the Roman's getting political asylum up in Sweden.

They don't argue up there

Peace Brothers.