Part of it is the semantics of society, Carol, imo. It still holds true in the business world that when a woman is forthright and assertive, she gets called an aggressive bitch, with little or no admiration. When a man does so, he might be called a son of a bitch or bastard, but it is usually with some sense of admiration.

It is still more acceptable for men to be aggressive and for women to demure. Look at how much rancour has been generated over Janet Reno, a woman I consider to be tough as nails and assertive.

My new favourite bumper sticker says, "You say I'm a bitch...like it's a bad thing." Kind of like "take back the night"...if we co-opt the word it might lose some of its sting:-)

Maybe some of those men you mentioned were the types who have fantasies about "take-charge" lovers?

kat