A few things Californians should know about southern speech before moving to the Southland:

1) Southerners do not drop their "r"s. It's a myth perpetuated by Hollywood directors who learned everything they know about how southerners speak by watching Foghorn Leghorn cartoons. To wit, Kevin Spacey's character in Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.

1A) Actually, some southerners do drop their "r"s, mostly politicians and others who think talking like Foghorn Leghorn makes them sound more genuinely southern. "Genuinely southern" is codespeak for "like a pompous blowhard".

2) There are no one-syllable words in southern speech. "Bob" is pronounced "Bah-uhb". "Bill" is pronounced "Bee-uhl". "Shit" is pronounced "shee-uht". You get the picture.

2A) Actually, there are some one-syllable words, but they didn't start out that way. "Orange" is pronounced "urnge".

3) The degree of elision (the omission of sounds from words) in one's speech is in direct proportion to the size of the wad of chewing tobacco in one's mouth. A moderately sized chaw will cause one to pronounce "all right" as "aw-ight". A really big chaw will turn it into "aw-eye".

3A) Elision can also be caused by excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages, but you don't have to be from the south to experience that phenomenon.

4) Speaking with a pronounced southern accent does not necessarily indicate a lack of intelligence, but it's a pretty good warning sign. For every Jimmy Carter there's a Jeff Sessions.