Can a woman be a curmudgeon? I mean, yes of course she can, when it comes to the qualities involved, but does the word get used?

I think I probably would use it - but it's on the cusp. Like bastard.

Strangely enough, in my experience the term bugger is used indiscriminately of men, women, dogs, motor-cars, and intruments that are hard to tune.

There are mysteries here in the use of language that are beyond me.