Cold beans on a snow bank constitutes a romantic dinner? Libby's beans? The problem, if you have too many romantic night in a row, wouldn't you be blowing holes in the snow bank?

I have a theory that big healthy guys and beautiful women are not necessarily stupid. They have brains but they have found easy ways to get what they want, ways that are not open to short, fat, dumpy, aging, guys who are going to seed like me. If you ask them the right questions you may get surprisingly intelligent answers.

I used to argue this with a six foot something accountant/bully character who I worked for in Orillia. He liked to say, "Why should I learn computers when I can hire an asshole like you to do it for me?" I'd tell him that just because he was big didn't mean he couldn't use his brain. He'd tell me that it was always the little guy with something to prove who want to play Parcheesi at parties. Later I'd have to apologize for upsetting him since he had dangerously high blood pressure.

There's a beautiful woman where I work who has a breathtaking body, a fabulous face, healthy hair, and a perfect airhead laugh. She dresses carefully, wears too much make up and looks like a Barbie Doll. One day I'm going to test my theory and ask her a question.