"Is that Pheasant a Poo Relation? Or someone who gives a shit? Unlike............. er, oops, I nearly strayed on-topic."

You're all right, mate. Accidentally nearly straying on-topic is the main point of the thread. The more "oopses, nearly strayed on-topic!" we get, the better!

I have a bird-bath on a plinth that my late aunt gave us. Great sentimental value. Casually glanced out of the kitchen window this afternoon only to see Phil the pheasant sitting on it doing his I'm-the-king-of-the-castle thing. Very amusing sight it was. I've now cleared the poo out of the bird bath.