Well Dave, me Mum always buys a Big Issue off t'bloke who's always outside Prestwich M&S Simply Food. She sez to me this affy, hey Steve, 'ave yer got change for t'Big Issue man? Ah sez back, yeah, how much d'yer need? She sez two quid. Ah sez TWO QUID? TWO BLOODY QUID??! That's not "change," ah sez! My idea o' change is an absolute max of 47p. Owt above that is brass, not "change." Any 'ow, I 'ad ter stump up. Two bloody quid down on t'deal. Bloody good job I'm not a tyke, otherwise I'd 'a slit me own bloody throat wi' rusty machete by now!