From songs I sing (I like passing out good advice) --

"Come all ye Dundee weavers,
Take this advice from me:
Never let a fella an inch above your knee,
And never lie in the long grass or up against the wa',
For if you do you can safely say,
Your thingamajig's awa'."
(Dundee Weaver)

"Oh, diddle oh oh, shite or bust.
Never let your bollocks dangle in the dust."
(The Lobster)

Linn