Hi Mom. Remember me - that crazy chick from Oz? That crazy chick now lives in Old Blighty, with my soulmate and husband - yes, another successful Mudcat marriage! I've been out in Facebookland a lot lately, and totally neglecting you. I'm glad to see that some of your children are still being loyal.

While I was out there today, I bumped into, of all people, Rapparee, doing one of those silly quizzes, and (shock horror) it turns out he is well on the way to being extremely posh!!! And proud of it too! Separate silver and china for guests and a Guest Suite! I only know someone with a double barrelled name and have seen a boat race. I don't even have a mantelpiece! Mother, will you love me anyway, even though I'm the lowest of the low?

At least I have nice soap. No Dial for this girl! Mine is purple with a pink elephant set into it, and smells of patchouli. Comes from one of those specialty shops, called Fresh. That must be at least a little bit posh?