Here's another version of the thing verse. I think it's a slight improvement on the other two on here.

Here also, is my own new verse: the 'arse' verse. I hope you like it -

Being a pirate is all fun and games, til somebody loses a "thing".
Now you'll feel pathetic, wearin' a prosthetic,
And, a course, now when you go, there's that sting.
You can sew it back on with a needle and thong,
But it just doesn't have the same spring
Being a pirate is all fun and games, til somebody loses a thing.

Well, bein' a pirate is all fun n games til somebody loses an arse.
At dinner theyll frown, Because you won't sit down
Life just descends into farce
Your breeches don't fit, You're a disfigured git
There's no part to lose that is worse
Bein' a pirate is all well and good
til somebody loses an arse.