I GET THE NECK OF THE CHICKEN
Words by Frank Loesser; music by Jimmy McHugh, 1942.
Sung by Marcy McGuire in the film "Seven Days' Leave" (1942).

I suspect Loesser did not actually write all the following lyrics. Several bands have recorded this as a jazz piece with lots of instrumental improvisation and scat singing.

[A] As recorded by Cab Calloway in July, 1942.

I get the neck of the chicken; I get the rumble-seat ride.
I get the leaky umbrella; ev'ryone shoves me aside.
When I jump in my shower each morn,
Sure as fate, I'm too late; all the hot water is gone.
I get the neck of the chicken; I got the hand-me-down shawl,
And when there's company weekend, I get the couch in the hall.
That's why I can't get over this dream comes true:
If it get the neck of the chicken, tell me baby, how did I ever get you?

[B] As sung by Phil Harris in an archived radio program: "The Jack Benny Program: Jack and Phil Go Target Shooting," from Nov. 1, 1942, which you can hear at The Internet Archive. The song begins at 7:46.

I get the neck of that chicken; I get the burnt piece o' toast.
I get the seat in the movies, smack-o in back of a post.
When I jump in my shower each morn,
Sure as fate, I'm too late, and that hot water is gone.
I get the neck of the chicken; I get the plate with the cracks.
I get those ev'nings with Grandma; ev'ryone else can relax.
That's why I can't get over this dream that came true:
If I get the neck of the chicken, well, how did I ever get you?

Yes, I get the neck of that chicken; seems like I'm under a curse.
I get the neck of the chicken; sometimes I get the reverse.
That's why I can't get over this dream that came true:
If I get the neck of that yard-bird, then how did I ever get you?

[C] From Bob Dorough on "Right on My Way Home" (1997):

I get the wing and the tailbone; I get a hair in my plate.
Even these iv'ries [plays a piano glissando] are whalebone; ev'ryone treats me great.
{I wake up early one mornin', rush down to the P.O. to mail a very important package.
I get to the P.O. and the P.O. is closed. It's a holiday. What holiday?}*
I get the liver and the gizzard; I get the fat and the rind.
When I get caught in a blizzard, I've left my rubbers behind.
That's why I can't get over this dream come true:
Now, if it get the neck of the chicken, how did I ever get you?

*These 2 lines are sung or recited very free-form, not matching the rhythm of the tune.

[D] From Paul Cohen & Friends on "I Want You Back" (2011):

I get the neck of the chicken; that's how they give me the bird;
And in the family snapshot, mine is the face that's all blurred.
When the morning paper comes to the door,
Sure as fate, I'm too late, and I don't get it till four.
I get the neck of the chicken; I get the plate with the cracks.
I get those evenin's with Grandma; ev'ryone else can relax.
That's why I can't get over this fine howdy-do:
If I get the neck of the chicken, how did I ever get you?

[E] From Jeff Sanford's Cartoon Jazz Band on "Cartoon Logic" (2013):

I get the neck of the chicken; I get the rumble-seat ride.
I get the leaky umbrella; ev'ryone shoves me aside.
When I jump in my shower each morn,
Sure as fate, I'm too late; all the hot water is gone.
I get the neck of the chicken; I get the hand-me-down tie.
I get the cold mashed potatoes; I get the small piece of pie.
That's why I can't get over this dream that's come true:
If I get the neck of the chicken, well, how did I ever get you?

Yeah, I get the neck of the chicken; I get the worst jobs at work,
And when I go to the cleaners, I get that clerk that's a jerk.
Vacation time down in old Monterrey,
Scalawags stole my bags, and it rained ev'ry day.
I get the neck of the chicken; I get the hand-me-down shawl,
And when there's company weekends, I get the couch in the hall.
That's why I can't get over this bolt from the blue:
If I get the neck of the chicken, baby, how did I ever get you?