Okay, like, showers, eh? Showers are okay as long as you don't take em too oftern, cos that, like opens the pores up and you could get sick. I take a shower maybe every 10 days or when my drinking buddies start to complain and say things like "Geez, what died around here?" Then I figure it's time.

A shower is also a good time to shave.

The trouble is someone always turns on the water downstairs, eh? Like mostly my dunbass brother, Don or one of his loser friends. So I'm just gettin into it and the water goes friggin ice cold! I'm like "Hey, what the flip! Stop runnin' the flippin water down there!" It don't do no good, cos he usually don't hear me, at least that's what he says. Of course, he lies like a dead snake on the highway.

So I turn the cold tap down and the hot way up, and then all of a sudden the water goes so friggin hot that I get scaled like a lobster! I jump outa the shower and yank open the bathroom door and I'm like "You flippin loser, I'm gonna pound you!"

He's like "I'd like to see you try, bolthole!"

I'm like "I better not have to come down there!"

He's like "Come, love, come...the birdie's are waiting to sing over your corpse..."

And so on. It goes on and on, and I don't get to take a decent shower.

So I waited and when he took a shower I did the same thing to him...double. Plus I put crazy glue all over the toilet seat last night. That fixed him for awhile. You shoulda heard the yelling. I turned Ozzie up to ELEVEN and just let him yell all he wanted. Nobody calls me a bolthole and don't pay for it.

It is getting downright hard to stay clean around here, eh?

- BDiBR