"I have no say in what my MP does once he/she is elected"

Ours is positively dismissive, a patch of fog, sheep, ex-banker climbing the ladder to his ministerial post. He's so right-wing as to be indistinguishable from a kipper, and he latches himself onto all sorts of causes whilst not actually offering any meaningful support. He was photographed smiling at a local collection for a food bank, which just about tells you everything you need to know about him.

I call him Westminster's representative in the constituency, the very opposite of what a constituency politician should be.