ETTICKITT!

TEUN-"The Biskit Man."

Aw'vs lately studied Ettickitt,
An' think it's sumthing grand
Te knaw hoo te behave yor-sel,
An' when te sit an' stand,
Iv ony kump'ney that yor in;
An' when te myek a boo,
An' the rules 0' gud behavour, whey
Aw's gawn te tell ye noo !

Korus.

For this is the way te behave yor-sel,
Think 0' me words an' tyek a spell,
Laybror, Mickanic, an' the tip-top swell,
Shud study the rules aw sing!

Ye've heerd that manners myeks the man,
Fine feathors myek fine bords,
That dissent say ye heh te dress
Mair then yor means affords:
Dress canny like,-yor stayshun keep,
An' divvent spoil yor breed,
A fact'ry lass wad nivvor seem
Curl-paypors iv her heed.

A workin man shud nivvor gan
Te wark i' Sunday's claes,
Withoot he's got nowt else te weer.
A lass withoot her stays
Shud keep i' doors, an' nivvor show
The real size ov her waist,
An' nivvor put her gluves on when
Her hands all ower pyest!

I' convorsayshun, nivvor shoot
Withoot sumbody's deef,
An' nivvor mair then three shud speak
At one time's maw beleef;
An' if ye think ye've tell'd a lee,
Keep't te yor-sel, an' say
Ne mair aboot what ye've let oot,
Repent when yor away.

If foaks shud myek a mornin call,
An' ye shud be i' bed,
Just say yor oot an' not at hyem,
Heh ne excuses myed;
An' if they call at dinner-time,
An' ye've not got eneuff,
Just heh yor awn an' let them gan,
Suppose they tyek the huff

If ye invite sum frind te tea,
Tell them yor not prepared,
Aw nivvor saw a hoosewifeyit
But just the syem declared;
An' if the tea gets ower strang,
The kettle's on the neuk,
Te let ye knaw thor's wetter there,
If ye wad only luck.

At borths an' krisnins say yor glad
Te see se fine a bairn;
At deeths yor sad, yecannet help't,
Ye've nowt i' that te Iairn ;
At weddins jump an' dance wi'joy,
An' let the foaksa' see
Ye knaw what Ettickitt shud be,
Ay, just as weel as me!


Source: Joe Wilson,(author) Songs and Drolleries, 1890