WE'LL NIVVOR INVlTE THEM TE TEA ONY MAlR!

TEUN-"TheLain! 0' Cockpen."

THE tyeble luckt canny, an' cosey, an' full,
An' aw sat wi' the bairn on wor aud three-leg'd steul,
An' its muther luckt really as happy as me,
For that day we'd invited sum frinds te thor tea.

Thor wes Dick an' Nan Temple, two frinds that we'd knawn
As a canny young lass an' a canny young man,
They had faithfully promised that Sunday at three,
Wi' two or three mair frinds, te cum an' tyek tea.

So wor Mally myed up, on the Seturday neet,
Bowt spice loaf an' fancy kyecks, ivrything sweet,
An' wi jillies an' marmilades really myed free,
Fairly meant te luck decent when frinds com te tea.

So on Sunday, when dinner wes ower that day,
Like a gud handy hoosewife she clear'd things away,
An' wor new tyeble-cloth, just as white as cud be,
Had a real grand invitin appearance for tea.

The cups wes a' set, an' the wigs nice an' het
Wes butter'd, then cut upse neat be me pet,
An' the bairn, wiv a lump iv its hand, full 0' glee,
Seem'd te knaw thor wes sumbody cummin te tea.

The clock had gyen two, an' then three, an' half-past,
We porswayded wor-sels it wes ivor se fast,
For we all had gud payshuns till fower let's see,
If they diddent cum seun we wad heh wor awn tea!

When five o'clock struck, man, aw hardly cud speak,
An' me wife, wi' the blud rushin a' tiv her cheek,
Smash'd two cups, oot 0' humour wivher awnsel an' me,
We sat doon without ivor a word te wor tea.

Iv a' disappointments-aw pity the fate
0' them doom'd for promises broken te wait,
When they once did te me, whey aw firmly declare,
That aw'll nivor invite them te tea ony mair!

Aw wad like te shake hands wi' the man that can
please iverybody. He mun be one d them phinomenons
that ne generation 'ill iver leeve te see.



-Source: Joe Wilson,(author) Songs and Drolleries, 1890