THE PAINTED NOSE!

TEUN-" Irish Mally, O!"

JIM TODD wes once a gud-like chep,
Wi' nose byeth clean an' strite;
His cheeks had a nice rosy tint
Abuv the skin se white.
Until he joined a drunken lot,
His features had repose;
But brandy myed an ugly change,
It pimpled a' his nose.

Korus.

It spoiled his fyece se canny,
An' his failins did expose;
It's not a plissint seet te see
A drunkard's painted nose!

At forst he thowt them beauty spots,
That seun wad gan away;
He cuddent think he'd hey a nose
Like that frae day te day.
He sighed as he luckt i' the glass,
Wi' feelins quite morose,
Te see his cheeks se varry pale,
An' such a fierynose!

He got advice frae docter cheps,
But a' that they cud say,
Wes if he'd let the drink alyen,
'Twad mebbies gan away.
It teuk him eers te cullur'd se,
An' munny, aw suppose:
The brandy that he drunk wad myek't
A real expensive nose!

An' so he carries on his fyece
The drunkard's glarin sign!
Ye cannet called an ornament,
Tho brightly it dis shine.
But if he'll tyek a frind's advice,
An' de what aw propose,
He'll drink ne mair, but tyek the pledge,
An' get a different nose!

-Source: Joe Wilson, (author) Songs and Drolleries, 1890