WHAT A HELPLESS CHEP AM AW!

TEUN- "The Happy Land of Erin."

WHAT a helpless chep am aw,
It's a pity ye shud knaw,
But aw cannet baud me tung, so aw mun speak, man;
For aw once wes bowld an' strang,
An' cud roar oot ony sang,
Noo aw cannet sing for sixpence, aw's se weak, man.

Korus

But join us i' the korus, an' lend a helpin hand,
Tho aw needint sing i' praise 0' rum or whiskey;
For they tyek away all power, an' if aw cud only stand,
An' wes sober, aw wad sing the" Bay 0' Biskey."

Aw's as poor as ony moose,
An' aw's not a bit 0' use,
Or an ornament te grace gud society;
An' this neet aw'll lay me bones
On a bed 0' pavin stones,
For aw hevvint sense te stick te sobriety.

But it's just what aw desarve,
Tho aw had ne call te starve,
If aw'd been a sober chep, aw'd been real clivor;
But me heed keeps in a muddle,
Throo us gettin on the fuddle,
It's a wasted life that spoils yor brains for ivor.

Hoo aw gloried in a spree,
Myekin beer an' munny flee,
Nivvor thinkin that me brass wes gettin shorter.
Aw had such a canny lass,
But aw lost her throo me glass,
Aw wes drinkin, so aw haddint time te court her.

But aw'm sure 'twes best for her,
When she showed us te the door,
'Twad been misery for life if she had married
Such a drunken chep as me,
So aw often wish te dee,
For aw nivvor will be happy till aw'm barried.

-Source: Joe Wilson, (author) Songs and Drolleries, 1890