TEETOTAL NOO!

TEUN- "The Cure."

Iv a' the" cures " that's in the world
Thor's one that's stud the test,
An' seun 'ill be established as
The safest an' the best:
That's abstinence frae alchohol!
It cheers the heart a' throo
Te hear anuther member's myed,
An' he's teetotal noo.

Korus

I Teetotal noo! teetotal noo!
It cheers the heart a' throo
Te hear anuther member's myed,
An' he's teetotal noo.

Aw'll tell ye a few cures it's myed:
Bill Thorn wes varry bad,
He thowt that he wes gannin fast
Says aw, "Maw canny lad,
Just pitch up drinkin what ye de,
Or else ne mair ye'll hew!"
He did, an' noo he's stoot an' strang,
For he's teetotal noo.

Tom Rolly's hilth wes leavin him,
He got that dreadful weak;
When weel, he wes a noisy chep,
Wi' such a lot d cheek:
But noo he's stiddy, weel-behaved,
He's bid the beer adieu!
Just ask him, he knaws which is best,
For he's teetotal noo.

Ned Whalley's temper wes the warst
Ov any i' the street;
He used te hit an' kick his wife
He nigh killed her one neet:
But noo thor just as happy, an'
Glad smiles leet up each broo;
The reason 0' this wondrous change
Is, he's teetotal noo.

Jack Bruce wes thowt a hopeless case,
Myest always bad an' pale;
He passed his time away frae hyem
When he wes oot 0' jail:
But noo he's got a canny job;
The gentlemen in blue
Miss Jack-he's nivvor i' thor hands,
For he's teetotal noo.

Aw nivvor saw a chep se thin
As Davey Bones once was;
Starvation, like a walkin ghost,
Wes pictor'd in his Jaws.
It teuk a while te get him roond,
At last heTiilthy grew;
An' lately he's mair like a man,
For he's teetotal noo.

But, bliss ye! aw might sing a' neet,
An' subjects nivvor cease,
Te prove hoo mony lives 0' war's
Been alter'd inte peace.
The happy change, the gladnin change,
Shud always get its due,
Convartin drunken men te say
That they're teetotal noo.
The above can also be used as a Recitation.

-Source: Joe Wilson, (author) Songs and Drolleries, 1890