I also was a firstborn (spell checker says that spelling is okay) and my two younger siblings always got the tan M&Ms. I always kept the cherished red ones for myself.

Since both of the aforementioned siblings were girls, I was expressly prohibited from inflicting physical pain upon them. That left mental pain as the only form of torture available, and tan M&Ms were useful tools toward that end.

Oh, I would occasionally deign to award one of them a red M&M as reward for a particularly obsequious act. It was gratifying to hear them say, "Oh thank you, Big Brother! We are not worthy!"

When tan M&Ms were replaced with blue ones in 1995, it changed the entire dynamic of childhood. The unwanted tans were replaced by a highly desirable color. Children who have grown up since then have experienced total M&M parity. Where are tomorrow's leaders going to come from when they don't have tan M&Ms to help make them into domineering assholes?