Things get even weirder:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/06/09/ruth-davidson-planning-scottish-tory-breakaway-challenges-theresa/

Scottish Tory leader (openly lesbian) wins substantial gains for her party by disregarding the instructions of the UK party's leader, while the UK leader's strategy sends her party down the toilet to such an extent that there would be no possibility of it holding power without those Scottish gains.

So, the UK party goes into a coalition with a bunch of gun-toting fundie fascists who want to ban gay marriage. (Davidson isn't married yet but expects to be in the near future).

Scottish Tories (whose election platform was largely about opposing independence) then contemplate splitting their party off to become a separate organization...

In Jerry Springer's position I'd offer to host the next Tory Party conference.