I became infertile 30 years ago - when I decided to be snipped. It was an interesting experience...

There were two middle-aged ladies on the reception desk when I walked in to the clinic for the op. One said, "Take a seat, and the doctor will be along with two bricks in a minute."

When I was lying on the op table, a medical orderly painted my lower area yellow. When I asked what it was for, he said, "So nobody parks on you."

The doctor who performed the operation said to me, "I've just had a knock in my car - I think my hands have stopped shaking..."

all true. Comedians as well as clinicians.