Just ran across this novelty song, which you can hear at The Internet Archive:


I'M JUST A QUIET DRINKER
(Berger-Leopoldi)
As recorded by Herbi Hardt

1. Each night when I go drinking, I'm always on my own.
I need no girls winking; I like to drink alone.
I don't want any company; I only want my scotch,
Because it always bothers me when the others drink too much.

CHORUS: I'm just a quiet drinker; that's why I'm never blue,
And while my nose gets pinker, I sing the whole night through,
And when they holler "Quiet!" I tell them: "Listen, boys:
Go shut your mouth and drink your beer.
Don't be so loud; I cannot hear."
I'm just a quiet drinker; it's why I make such noise.
Hi-de-hi, hi-de-ho, hi-lee, hi-lo!
I'm always feeling fine whenever I have dough.
Hi-de-hi, hi-de-ho, hi-lee, hi-lo!
And drinking is no crime; my doctor told me so.

2. A cop is getting nasty; he starts to raise his voice.
He tells me I'm a nuisance; I'm making too much noise.
Sinatra and Bing Crosby, I tell that silly cop,
They sing more often than I do but no one locks them up.

3. When I go home in morning, it almost makes me weep.
They holler from the window: "Shut up! We want to sleep!"
I tell 'em: "Don't you realize you give me misery?
If you would shut your window, then your noise won't bother me."


[On one of the repeats, he sings: "I'm just a quiet sti—, uh, drinker...."]