1. Do you always smell like that?
Only on Saturdays.
2. How far away do I have to stand to avoid it?
Six and a half inches.
3. What are you taking to get rid of it>
Polo mints.
4. Phew! Was that you as well?
It wasn't me - it must have been the dog.
5. I'll get rid of for you if you want...
Not with that on your head you won't.

I've got another good one as well -

If the answere is 9W what is the question?
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Do you spell your name with a 'V', Herr Wagner???

Dave the Gnome