"old maid in the garret?""
There was once a middle aged unmarried lady living alone in her garret with just her tom-cat for company -
Each night she fed the cat, had her meal and curled up on the sofa with a book until it was bedtime
One warm night she was standing by the open window and sighing out loud - "I wish I had a nice young man to keep me company, I get very lonely here"
By chance, her fairy godmother was passing and, seeing the lady's unhappiness, took out her wand, pointed it at the cat curled up on the sofa and "FLASH" - it turned into a beautiful young man
The lady was ecstatic, she gave the handsome young man a drink and told him that, if he waited she would make him a delicious meal
Sure enough, she put together a superb dinner, laid the table - wine - candles - the lot
They sat down and tucked in, drank the wine and settled back on the couch, replete
After a minute she snuggled up to him and began to stroke his face, closer, closer.... finally she threw her arms around him and kissed him - he drew back
"What's the matter" she said?
"Well" he said, "it seems you've forgotten that operation you sent me for"
Jim Carroll