The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #161242   Message #3878985
Posted By: Donuel
27-Sep-17 - 12:41 PM
Thread Name: BS: First Joke Thread of 2017
Subject: RE: BS: First Joke Thread of 2017
Trump orders a simple request to the NFL:







his Executive Order (the "Agreement") states the terms and conditions that govern the contractual agreement between the NFL having his principal place of business at [New York New York], and Donald J. Trump having its principal place of business at White House Pennsylvania Avenue Washington DC agrees to be bound by this Agreement.
WHEREAS, the NFL is described in further detail on Exhibit A, and the NFL is a contractor with whom the Client has come to an agreement to This Executive Order .
NOW, THEREFORE, In consideration of the mutual covenants and promises made by the parties to this Agreement, the President and the NFL (individually, each a "Party" and collectively, the "Parties") covenant and agree as follows:

T H E   E X EC U T I V E   O R D E R:

The NFL hereby engages the President and hereby agrees to be engaged by the President TO ALLOW NO; fan, spectator, attendee, employee, Team member- ball player or owner to kneel during the observation and performance of the National Anthem in accordance with the specifications attached hereto as Exhibit A (the "Specifications"). Locking arms as a demonstration of any kind is temporarily excluded from this agreement.


a. The NFL shall complete This Executive Order according to the milestones described on the form attached hereto as Exhibit B. In accordance with such milestones, the final action punishable by Exhibit C shall be delivered to the NFL by 30 days

a.1 Men shall be required to bow in a forward position to the President. Women shall be required to bow in a backward position to the President.

b. For a period of 30 days after delivery of This Executive Order , the NFL shall provide the attention to answer any questions or assist solving any problems with regard to the operation of This Executive Order free of charge and billed to the NFL at a rate of $100 per hour for any assistance thereafter. The NFL agrees to respond to any reasonable request for assistance made by the President regarding This Executive Order within 30 days of the request.
c. Except as expressly provided in This Executive Order , the President shall not be obligated under this Agreement to provide any other support or assistance to the NFL.
d. The PRESIDENT may cancel this Executive Order at any time upon material breach of the terms herein and failure to cure such a breach within 30 days of notification of such a breach.
e. This Executive Order shall provide to the NFL after the Delivery Date, a cumulative [TIME FRAME] of training with respect to the operation of This Executive Order if requested by the NFL.
DELIVERY. This Executive Order shall function in accordance with the Specifications on or before the Delivery Date.
a. If This Executive Order as delivered does not conform with the Specifications, the NFL shall within 30 days of the Delivery Date notify the President of the United States in writing of the ways in which it does not conform with the Specifications. The President agrees that upon receiving such notice, it shall make reasonable efforts to correct any non-conformity.
b. The NFL shall provide to the President written notice of its finding that This Executive Order conforms to the Specifications within 30 days of the Delivery Date unless it finds that This Executive Order does not conform to the Specifications as described in Section 2(A) herein.
COMPENSATION. In consideration for the Service, the NFL shall pay the President at the rate of $100 per hour (the "Hourly Rate"), with a maximum total fee [ EXHIBIT D ] for all work under This Executive Order. Fees billed under the Hourly Rate shall be due and payable upon the Developer providing the Client with an invoice. Invoices will be provided for work completed by the developer once every [PAY PERIOD].


CHANGE IN SPECIFICATIONS. The Client may request that reasonable changes be made to the Specifications and tasks associated with the implementation of the Specifications. If the NFL requests such a change, the Developer will use its best efforts to implement the requested change at no additional expense to the Client and without delaying delivery of This Executive Order . In the event that the proposed change will, in the sole discretion of the Developer, require a delay in the delivery of This Executive Order or would result in additional expense to the NFL, then the NFL and the President shall confer and the may either withdraw the proposed change or require proposed change and subject to the delay and/or additional expense. This Executive Order agrees and acknowledges that the judgment as to the NFL shall not disclose to any third party the business of the NFL, details regarding including, without limitation any information regarding the Software's code, the Specifications, or the Client's business (the "Confidential Information"), (ii) make copies of any Confidential Information or any content based on the concepts contained within the Confidential Information for personal use or for distribution unless requested to do so by the NFL, or (iii) use Confidential Information other than solely for the benefit of the President of the United States.
PRESIDENTIAL WARRANTIES. This Executive Order represents and warrants to the NFL the following:
a. Development and delivery of This Executive Order under this Agreement is not in violation of any other agreement that the President has with another party.
b. This Executive Order excludes the civil rights of any other party.
c. For a period of 100 years after the Delivery Date, This Executive Order shall operate according to the Specifications. If This Executive Order malfunctions or in any way does not operate according to the Specifications within the NFL is excluded from and against all lawsuits and costs of every kind pertaining to This Executive Order including reasonable legal fees due to This Executive Order infringement of the civil rights of any third party.
By way of example, in the event any third party sues the US Government in This Executive Order , the complainant will cover all court and legal costs in such an action.

NO MODIFICATION UNLESS IN WRITING. No modification of this Agreement shall be valid unless in writing and agreed upon by both Parties.
APPLICABLE LAW. This Executive Order and the interpretation of its terms shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of Florida and subject to the exclusive jurisdiction of the federal and state courts located in [Palm Beach], [Florida].
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, each of the Parties has executed this Executive order Agreement, both Parties by its duly authorized officer, as of the day and year set forth below
President of the United States
Donald J. Trump
Commander and Chief

This Executive Order (the "Agreement") states the terms and conditions that govern the contractual agreement between the NFL having his principal place of business at [New York New York], and Donald J. Trump having its principal place of business at White House Pennsylvania Avenue Washington DC agrees to be bound by this Agreement.
WHEREAS, the NFL is described in further detail on Exhibit A, and the NFL is a contractor with whom the Client has come to an agreement to This Executive Order .
NOW, THEREFORE, In consideration of the mutual covenants and promises made by the parties to this Agreement, the President and the Client (individually, each a "Party" and collectively, the "Parties") covenant and agree as follows:

This Executive Order: The NFL hereby engages the President and hereby agrees to be engaged by the President to allow no; fan. attendee, employee, Team member-ball player or owner to kneel during the observation and performance of the National Anthem in accordance with the specifications attached hereto as Exhibit A (the "Specifications").
a. The NFL shall complete This Executive Order according to the milestones described on the form attached hereto as Exhibit B. In accordance with such milestones, the final action punishable by Exhibit C shall be delivered to the NFL by 30 days [FINAL DELIVERY DATE] (the "Delivery Date").
b. For a period of 30 days after delivery of This Executive Order , the NFL shall provide the attention to answer any questions or assist solving any problems with regard to the operation of This Executive Order free of charge and billed to the NFL at a rate of $100 per hour for any assistance thereafter. The NFL agrees to respond to any reasonable request for assistance made by the President regarding This Executive Order within 30 days of the request.
c. Except as expressly provided in This Executive Order , the President shall not be obligated under this Agreement to provide any other support or assistance to the NFL.
d. The Client may terminate this Software Development Agreement at any time upon material breach of the terms herein and failure to cure such a breach within 30 days of notification of such a breach.
e. This Executive Order shall provide to the NFL after the Delivery Date, a cumulative [TIME FRAME] of training with respect to the operation of This Executive Order if requested by the NFL.
DELIVERY. This Executive Order shall function in accordance with the Specifications on or before the Delivery Date.
a. If This Executive Order as delivered does not conform with the Specifications, the NFL shall within 30 days of the Delivery Date notify the President of the United States in writing of the ways in which it does not conform with the Specifications. The President agrees that upon receiving such notice, it shall make reasonable efforts to correct any non-conformity.
b. The NFL shall provide to the President written notice of its finding that This Executive Order conforms to the Specifications within [TIME FRAME] days of the Delivery Date unless it finds that This Executive Order does not conform to the Specifications as described in Section 2(A) herein.
COMPENSATION. In consideration for the Service, the NFL shall pay the President at the rate of $100 per hour (the "Hourly Rate"), with a maximum total fee [ EXHIBIT D ] for all work under This Executive Order. Fees billed under the Hourly Rate shall be due and payable upon the Developer providing the Client with an invoice. Invoices will be provided for work completed by the developer once every [PAY PERIOD].


CHANGE IN SPECIFICATIONS. The Client may request that reasonable changes be made to the Specifications and tasks associated with the implementation of the Specifications. If the NFL requests such a change, the Developer will use its best efforts to implement the requested change at no additional expense to the Client and without delaying delivery of This Executive Order . In the event that the proposed change will, in the sole discretion of the Developer, require a delay in the delivery of This Executive Order or would result in additional expense to the NFL, then the NFL and the President shall confer and the may either withdraw the proposed change or require proposed change and subject to the delay and/or additional expense. This Executive Order agrees and acknowledges that the judgment as to the NFL shall not disclose to any third party the business of the NFL, details regarding including, without limitation any information regarding the Software's code, the Specifications, or the Client's business (the "Confidential Information"), (ii) make copies of any Confidential Information or any content based on the concepts contained within the Confidential Information for personal use or for distribution unless requested to do so by the NFL, or (iii) use Confidential Information other than solely for the benefit of the President of the United States.
PRESIDENTIAL WARRANTIES. This Executive Order represents and warrants to the NFL the following:
a. Development and delivery of This Executive Order under this Agreement is not in violation of any other agreement that the President has with another party.
b. This Executive Order excludes the civil rights of any other party.
c. For a period of 100 years after the Delivery Date, This Executive Order shall operate according to the Specifications. If This Executive Order malfunctions or in any way does not operate according to the Specifications within the NFL is excluded from and against all lawsuits and costs of every kind pertaining to This Executive Order including reasonable legal fees due to This Executive Order infringement of the civil rights of any third party.
By way of example, in the event any third party sues the US Government in This Executive Order , the complainant will cover all court and legal costs in such an action.

NO MODIFICATION UNLESS IN WRITING. No modification of this Agreement shall be valid unless in writing and agreed upon by both Parties.
APPLICABLE LAW. This Executive Order and the interpretation of its terms shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of Florida and subject to the exclusive jurisdiction of the federal and state courts located in [Palm Beach], [Florida].
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, each of the Parties has executed this Executive order Agreement, both Parties by its duly authorized officer, as of the day and year set forth below
President of the United States
Donald J. Trump
Commander and Chief

addendum: EXHIBIT D shall remain classified, secret and confidential under penalty of law/

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