Melody:If I Only Had a Brain (From the Wizard of Oz)
By Whiff; officially premiered at the Eerie (PA) H3 1st Anniversary Hash in July 1994

THE LAST OF THE TOXIC MALE SEX ABUSERS

I could wile away the hours,
Searchin' hills for flowers,

Across a wide terrain. (repeat)

I'd be chipper, and I'd be cheerful,
If my stomach had a beerful,
'Cause I've only half a brain. (repeat)

With my arms and legs akimbo,
I'll be chasing after bimbos,

Through mud, thorns, and rain. (repeat)

I'll be making lots of passes,
As I fondle all their asses,
'Cause I've only half a brain. (repeat)

Chorus: I'll do oxys till me Lungs quit, COUGH
Then I'll fire one up and take a little hit,

I'll impress the women with my charming wit,
As I shout out, "Show us your tits!"

Then my beer I will be sharing,
With them as their breast they're baring,
Our urges unrestrained. (repeat)

Oh, our language will be rude as,

We exchange bod-i-ly fluids,
'Cause we've only half a brain.