Today's Radio Roulette bullet was
Bobby Helms singing "Jingle Bell Rock."

There was a broadcast of a recording of
Andy Williams singing I forget what --
it was a horrible shock --

some mad producer in the recording studio
wanted Williams to sound more like Dean Martin, I guess,
and Williams' light baritone voice had been processed
to sound like a slow-motion movie soundtrack.

Guys. No. Maple syrup is not supposed to be molasses.