Ahah, I see someone has expanded the title. You yanks have my sympathies. I've tried to watch American football a couple of times. This is what I've gleaned so far:

A lot of extremely-padded men stand around for several minutes.

Some kind of signal obliges them to stand in two lines.

One man throws an oddly-shaped ball along the lines.

Everybody spends the next thirty seconds trying to beat everyone else up.

After a short period of dusting-down, the process is repeated.

In the meantime, a bunch of very beautiful girls with frilly skirts right up to their delectable bottoms jump up and down on the touchline in gleeful and noisy fashion. This is, to my unrefined eye, by far the most appealing part of the game.

Am I missing something?