In the realm of ludicrous laughter today, I have pictured the Lunch Lady Brigade performing mission improbable maneuvers with pythonesque lightening speed and agility - for their size

It is alleged that certain people have an aptitude for making defensive head shots under fire. I'm thinking that the Chess Club would be more suitable, quick thinking and independent than members of the football team.

A little bit of a Bonus is what our President has promised if you confront and kill mass shooters. I'm afraid the bonus would amount to overtime pay at Dairy Queen.