Here's the version from Gordon Bok's Websiute

IF I WAS A DOG

© 1995 Colm Gallagher, ASCAP

Gordon – Vocal & 12-string guitar

Will, Matt, Kat, Jim, David, Anne –vocals

 

I got this song from Tommy Makem. I think he told me that Colm used to play bass for him in NY City. Colm also made the words for “I Held a Lady,” an old favorite of mine.

 

If I was a dog I’d wag me tail, I’d sit me down beside the fire

And the girls could pat me on the back or anyplace else their heart would desire

I wouldn’t be after chasing cats, I wouldn’t go baying at the moon

I wouldn’t have time for things like that

If I was a dog, what I’d be doing!

 

Oh-ho, oh-ho, if I was a dog I’d have me day

Oh-ho, oh-ho, wouldn’t I be waggin’ me tail

 

If I was a dog I’d eat of the best and only the best that money could buy

I’d go down to the butcher’s shop and I’d lick the leg of the butcher’s wife

I’d be dining on filet mignon and pelican fingers and lobster fins

And delicate frogs, if I was a dog I wouldn’t go rooting in nobody’s bins

 

I wouldn’t be after chasing sheep, I wouldn’t be after hunting hares

I’d prefer to be home in me sleep or digging a hole to God knows where

I wouldn’t be after pulling the sled like huskies up in the Yukon do

I’d prefer to be home in me bed with a Pekinese, Poodle or Kerry Blue

 

And woe betide the fool that tried to spay the wife or neuter me

Before I’d let him away with that, by God I’d show me pedigree

I’d put up a hell of a fight and wouldn’t that be a sight to see

One strategic nip, the neuterer becoming the neuteree

 

And sooner or later I’d father a litter and teach the little ones how to be

And if any of them tried to get smart, be-God, I’d chase the lot of ‘em up a tree

So if you’re walking along the street and an elegant dog you happen to see

Steppin’ it out, give us shout; you could be you and that would be me

 

 

 

If I Was a Dog is recorded on the album Because You Asked.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFDwdu01OHk