Backwoodsman: "I'd rather stick hot needles in my eyes than have anything whatsoever to do with golf. A boring pastime for fat old men."

I've just learned that there is a Professional Golf Association dedicated RADIO station, PGA Tour Radio, so even if your eyes have been poked out, you can still follow along.

Furthermore, they have play-by-play re-broadcasts, in case you missed the live event.

I can't imagine a more soothing experience than listening to the dulcet tones of a soft-spoken golf announcer describing every crucial stroke of a match whose outcome you already know.