Up Nell jumped and she did run across the village green.

And Dick did run after her shouting things obscene.

Said Dirty Dick I'm not F inn having this I paid for an all night session.

Said Little Nell you can go to hell I'm off to do confession.

...Along came constable Bill - he really did look ill.

His face was pale and he stank of ale - as he came upon this scene.

Trouserless Dick had caught up with Nell and was taking her from behind.

Her skirt was up over her head and that really seemed unkind.

Constable Bill did a double take and wondered what kind of beast was this.

Had the Ale got the better of him? - he really was quite pissed.

He got his night stick and he did shoved it - right up old Dick's arse. Dick let out a shriek and said gadzooks - I think I've come at last!

Constable Bill pulled out his stick and wiped it on the grass.

And Dick ran off a shrieking with both hands over his arse.

I'm telling this tale as it is the truth or at least that's what I'm told.

And I thought I must share it with you all - before I get too old.

To be continued.