I like the transient 'h' which goes when it should be there, but arrives when not wanted. eg Eliza Dolittle, "In 'ertford, 'ereford and 'ampshire, 'urricanes 'ardly hever 'appen."

I like the crematorium sign Will. Only too true!

A hand-made sign appeared on the main road not far from our village which, a propos of nothing, instructed one to 'TURN RIGHT TWICE'. We never did discover its purpose, and it vanished a few weeks later. Normal for Norfolk!