JUNK FOOD JUNKIE Written by Larry Groce Released by Warner Bros. Records in 1976; playing time, 3:03 Was Groce's only hit, making it as high as #9 on the Billboard_ Hot 100
1. You know, I love that organic cookin'; I always ask for more, And they call me Mr. Natural on down to the health food store. I only eat good sea salt; white sugar don't touch my lips, And my friends is always a-beggin' me to take 'em on macrobiotic trips. (Yes, they are.) But at night I take out my strongbox that I keep under lock and key, And I take it off to my closet where nobody else can see. I open that lid so slowly, take a peek up north, down south, Then I pull out a Hostess Twinkie and I pop it in my mouth.
CHORUS: In the daytime I'm Mr. Natural, just healthy as I can be, But at night I'm a junk-food junkie; good Lord, have pity on me.
2. At lunchtime, you can always find me at the Whole Earth Vitamin Bar, An' just suckin' on my plain white yogurt from my hand-thrown pottery jar, An' sippin' a little hand-pressed cider with a carrot stick for dessert, An' a-wipin' my face in a natural way on the sleeve of my peasant shirt. (Yes, I do.) Ah, but when that clock strikes midnight and I'm all by myself, I work that combination on my secret hideaway shelf, An' I pull out some Fritos Corn Chips and Dr. Pepper and an ol' Moon Pie. I sit back in glorious expectation of a genuine junk-food high.
3. My friends down at the commune, they think that I'm pretty neat. I don't know a thing about their arts and crafts, but I give 'em all somethin' to eat. I was a friend to old Euell Gibbons, rest his soul, and I only eat homegrown spice. I got a John Keats autographed Grecian urn filled up with my brown rice. (You know I do.) But lately I have been spotted with a Big Mac on my breath, Stumblin' into a Colonel Sanders with a face as white as death. I'm afraid someday they'll find me just stretched out on my bed With a handful of Pringles Potato Chips and a Ding-Dong by my head.