OH! HOW I LOVE MY DARLING
Words, Edgar Leslie; music, Harry Woods. ©1924.

VERSE 1. I heard a crowd at the Cake Eater's Ball
Talk of the high cost of loving.
One fellow said: "My expenses are small.
I never spend money when I'm with my honey."

CHORUS 1: I kiss her once.
I kiss her twice.
Oh, how I love my darling!
I stop and then
I start again.
That satisfies my darling.
We go out dancing and she ruins my feet,
But when she whispers: "Dear, supposin' we eat?"
I'm right on deck.
She pays the check.*
Oh, how I love my darling!

CHORUS 2: I kiss her once.
I kiss her twice.
Oh, how I love my darling!
In her coupé
'Most ev'ry day
I ride beside my darling.
She goes out speeding and I can't make her stop,
But ever since the night she knocked down a cop,
I'm out on bail.
She's still in jail.
Oh, how I love my darling!

VERSE 2. Christmas means presents, and some fellows hide
When girlies hang up their stockings.
I told my sweetie that Santy Claus died.
She cried for two hours, wanted to send flowers.

CHORUS 3: I kiss her once.
I kiss her twice.
Oh, how I love my darling!
I light her pa's
Big fat cigars,
Then blow smoke at my darling.
She's very heavy and she heard her friends state
That horseback riding would reduce her in weight.
She took one ride.
The poor horse died.
Oh, how I love my darling!

CHORUS 4: I kiss her once.
I kiss her twice.
Oh, how I love my darling!
Her money shows
Down in her hose,
That's why I love my darling.
I needed ten and went to her for a touch.
I looked and found she didn't have quite that much.
She gave me four,
Owes me six more.
Oh, how I love my darling!

* * *
SOURCES:

Chorus 1 was recorded by Carl Fenton and His Orchestra. Jones and Hare are said to be among the vocalists on this recording, but the arrangement is not in their characteristic style.

The first 3 lines of each verse can be seen in a sample page of sheet music for sale at eBay.

Chorus 2 can be heard in a recording by The Ambassadors. It also has this couplet which seems to be part of a chorus:

She has a form and figure that's so divine,
Looks like an engine on the B&O Line.

But the most helpful in putting it all together was this video of a piano roll by Pete Wendling. It has lyrics printed along the right margin, although they are hard to read.

* British vocalists substitute this couplet: "I say we will./She pays the bill."