Heh heh Big Al, I take it you're not terribly keen on poor old Giles?
I find him irritating and smuttily smug.

But Fu Manchu used spiders among other creatures (snakes etc) to do his evil work for him.

If the choice is only between these two, I'd have to go for Giles Brandreth.

Couldn't I have Sir David Attenborough or Prof Brian Cox though? I'd love to be chained to either of them!