Don't sweat the petty things... and don't pet the sweaty things! I think that might have been Stephen Wright. Also, I had this true conversation with my niece when she was about 5:

(Niece says something sideways)
Me: Dain bramage?
She (indignantly): I am NOT dain bramaged! (pause) I am not dain... (longer pause) I am NOT brain damaged!

It was hysterical.