I don't like restauants.. give me a greasy caff or canteen any day..

or preferably a takeaway at home...

Can't stand the stuffy too warm discomfort,
having to dress smart in uncomfortable clothes
that are bound to end up stained with at least small spatters and drips of sauce or gravy,
polite inane conversations with people you have little in common with,
obsequious waiters who keep demanding verbal reassurance that all is good...
[being called "sir" when I was 19 put me off waiter servility for life..]
.. and the rip off bills that are the equivalent of a good guitar FX pedal or microphone...

stuff all that middle class nonsense...

All I want to do is enjoy good food in comfort in peace and quiet,
with no talking...

My wife thinks I am a grumpy unsociable old bastard..
she's happy wasting good money on meals & wine out with 'the girls [mostly late 50s and 60s]'
2 or 3 times a month...
I pity the the young waiters after the 'girls' have polished off their 3rd bottle of wine...