I've been to Famagusta. It's the grimmest, most dismal sight on the planet. If his letter is stuck in there somewhere, I'd forget it if I we're him!

Never mind that. I want someone to explain to me why newspapers, national and regional, always report the 'A' Level results alongside photos of jubilant, beautiful young ladies delightedly hugging each other. My question is this: do very plain, bosomless young ladies with misshapen bums, perhaps with NHS specs and buck teeth, never pass their 'A' Levels?