I've heard it all now. No level of drinking is safe. Everybody in the world should go teetotal. You'll get cancer...

No level of driving a car is safe.
No level of crossing the road is safe.
No level of eating food is safe.
No level of not enough sleep is safe.
No level of coffee is safe.
No level of going outside in the sun is safe.
No level of worrying about work/your missus/your kids/your money is safe.
No level of carbs is safe.
No level of ham/bangers/chorizo/bacon is safe.

I don't know what's safe any more. I wonder whether doing a bit of sex or ogling girls wearing daisy dukes is safe. Please don't tell me that admiring bum cheeks half-hanging out of daisy dukes will give me cancer...

The whole thing is enough to drive you to...