This was a hard one to transcribe (note a couple of gaps), and I had only this one recording to go by, at the Internet Archive:


OPERATIC SYNCOPATION
Words and music by [John C?] Egan, [Alfred C?] Harriman
As recorded by Ernest Hare & Billy Jones, 1922.

I was sleeping one night at the opera
And I dreamt that the melodies
That made the old masters famous
Were written in raggy keys,
So now with your kind permission,
We will throw upon the screen
Of your minds a little song
To show you what we mean:

Let’s take a little bit of William Tell,
A pretty thing that’s hard to sing
And it always gets applause if you really do it well.
Just take one bar of that evening song.
I love that melody.
Oh, how it sings to me!
Just listen:

Oh, how I love a big opera band! (Y’ ought to hear it.)
One that plays classical music grand. (Don’t be near it.)
Gives me a feeling I can’t understand.
It goes to my brain; I’m near insane
When I hear that sweet refrain.

Come on and hear the pretty little melodies of all the old composers.
Come on; let’s go it’s only...(?); besides, we’ll see some showses.
So—Oh, I don’t want to go!—Oh, yes!—Oh, no; I said I wouldn’t go!
—But I think you’d better go.—No!

Everybody loves to hear a good song, instead of ragtime.
Everybody loves to hear grand opera ...(?)
Maybe you’ll go
To see that big show.
Oh, don’t say no.
—All right, I’ll go.

Then we’ll forth go
To see that great big opera show,
And you’ll all know
That it is some big swell affair.
Don’t stare(?)
We’ll all be there.