Had a real classic humdinger of how NOT to approach a floor spot the other night. Feel driven to share as it annoyed me so much...

Guy sits down, then spends basically the time it would take anyone else to sing an entire song just to put his guitar into some special tuning.

All the while he informs us that he's about to sing a really long song. This is why, apparently, he has the lyrics on his phone - he tells us that normally he wouldn't dream of such a thing, being such a pro etc, but they are only there just cos it's a really long song and he probably won't need them - they are there just in case.

He starts the song off really fast, in order to seem really impressive on the guitar. But he then slows down massively when he actually has to start singing at the same time.

He immediately forgets some words. He has placed his phone on a chair next to him, where he can't actually see it. So he has to stop the song to look at them. He does this three times. He also turns out to be not much of a good singer, hitting all the high notes flat. I have to fight the urge to heckle so so so much...